Lucy Honeychurch
Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2017 11:33 pm
Hello. I am a long-time lurker who was a briefly interactive (under a different name) at the old site when my family and I left the LDS church in 2014.
I spent my whole life as a happy and faithful Mormon until 2010, when some of my questions demanded answers, and I started to search. I read more in depth about polygamy, Grant Palmer's book, and Rough Stone Rolling that year. I wrestled with the information, and decided the BOM and Restoration were still true, even though God was using fallible people to move the work forward. I remained active with a nuanced testimony for the next four years, even serving as a RS president during that time.
If not for the release of the church essays, I might have forever remained committed. Those essays really bugged me. I felt betrayed. I had given 35-plus years of trust and heart to the church. I spent a few months reading faithful sources to expound on the essays. One day at the FAIR website, I found the link to the CES Letter. For the first time, I was able to see all my questions in one place, and no nuance was needed to make sense of it all. My testimony ended.
My husband and children trusted me enough to listen, and we all left together. After leaving, we attended non-denominational church services for almost two years, but in the end we found that religion is not for us. I am glad we attended, so that I could understand traditional Christianity, especially grace. I still consider myself a cultural Christian, in that I believe much of what Jesus taught, but I am not a believer in the supernatural, nor do I think the bible should be taken as an infallible guide to life and truth. I prefer philosophy, empirical truth, ethics, and common sense as life guides.
It has been really hard to leave. It's the toughest thing I've ever been through. I had my feet held to the fire for every mistake I made along the way. I suffered an identity crisis, a loss of my worldview, alienation from friends and family, unkind words, loss of my reputation, a big weight gain, and a deep depression. Yet, it was worth it. I love the new friends in my life, the authenticity I get to experience, the mental and emotional freedom, the peace I've made with my hopeful agnosticism, and now that my family relationships are healed, our love feels deeper and more compassionate than ever.
I didn't always feel that I fit in at NOM because I was a bandaid-ripper rather than taking the slow-and-steady advice. Yet, I love NOM for the intelligent and respectful tone and the great support. I will continue to lurk because I care about nommies, and because this place is a great way to know of LDS happenings without being exposed to the vitriol that permeates most post-mo venues. Thanks for reading. Nice to see you!
I spent my whole life as a happy and faithful Mormon until 2010, when some of my questions demanded answers, and I started to search. I read more in depth about polygamy, Grant Palmer's book, and Rough Stone Rolling that year. I wrestled with the information, and decided the BOM and Restoration were still true, even though God was using fallible people to move the work forward. I remained active with a nuanced testimony for the next four years, even serving as a RS president during that time.
If not for the release of the church essays, I might have forever remained committed. Those essays really bugged me. I felt betrayed. I had given 35-plus years of trust and heart to the church. I spent a few months reading faithful sources to expound on the essays. One day at the FAIR website, I found the link to the CES Letter. For the first time, I was able to see all my questions in one place, and no nuance was needed to make sense of it all. My testimony ended.
My husband and children trusted me enough to listen, and we all left together. After leaving, we attended non-denominational church services for almost two years, but in the end we found that religion is not for us. I am glad we attended, so that I could understand traditional Christianity, especially grace. I still consider myself a cultural Christian, in that I believe much of what Jesus taught, but I am not a believer in the supernatural, nor do I think the bible should be taken as an infallible guide to life and truth. I prefer philosophy, empirical truth, ethics, and common sense as life guides.
It has been really hard to leave. It's the toughest thing I've ever been through. I had my feet held to the fire for every mistake I made along the way. I suffered an identity crisis, a loss of my worldview, alienation from friends and family, unkind words, loss of my reputation, a big weight gain, and a deep depression. Yet, it was worth it. I love the new friends in my life, the authenticity I get to experience, the mental and emotional freedom, the peace I've made with my hopeful agnosticism, and now that my family relationships are healed, our love feels deeper and more compassionate than ever.
I didn't always feel that I fit in at NOM because I was a bandaid-ripper rather than taking the slow-and-steady advice. Yet, I love NOM for the intelligent and respectful tone and the great support. I will continue to lurk because I care about nommies, and because this place is a great way to know of LDS happenings without being exposed to the vitriol that permeates most post-mo venues. Thanks for reading. Nice to see you!