Elder Holland vs. the 1949 First Presidency

[Kalikala]

Good luck. We’ve been married 18 years and I still can’t get her to stop grabbing my butt in public.

Ya, not stopping that anytime soon.

[moksha]

First Presidency Statement August 17, 1949
The attitude of the Church with reference to Negroes remains as it has always stood. It is not a matter of the declaration of a policy but of direct commandment from the Lord, on which is founded the doctrine of the Church from the days of its organization, to the effect that Negroes may become members of the Church but that they are not entitled to the priesthood at the present time. The prophets of the Lord have made several statements as to the operation of the principle. President Brigham Young said: “Why are so many of the inhabitants of the earth cursed with a skin of blackness? It comes in consequence of their fathers rejecting the power of the holy priesthood, and the law of God. They will go down to death. And when all the rest of the children have received their blessings in the holy priesthood, then that curse will be removed from the seed of Cain, and they will then come up and possess the priesthood, and receive all the blessings which we now are entitled to.”

President Wilford Woodruff made the following statement: “The day will come when all that race will be redeemed and possess all the blessings which we now have.”

The position of the Church regarding the Negro may be understood when another doctrine of the Church is kept in mind, namely, that the conduct of spirits in the premortal existence has some determining effect upon the conditions and circumstances under which these spirits take on mortality and that while the details of this principle have not been made known, the mortality is a privilege that is given to those who maintain their first estate; and that the worth of the privilege is so great that spirits are willing to come to earth and take on bodies no matter what the handicap may be as to the kind of bodies they are to secure; and that among the handicaps, failure of the right to enjoy in mortality the blessings of the priesthood is a handicap which spirits are willing to assume in order that they might come to earth. Under this principle there is no injustice whatsoever involved in this deprivation as to the holding of the priesthood by the Negroes.

Summary:
1. Black skin due to the Curse of Cain.
2. Bad conduct in the premortal existence.

I still can’t get her to stop grabbing my butt in public.

Perhaps she has been in communication with the Angel of the Drawn Sword.

[IT_Veteran]

I still can’t get her to stop grabbing my butt in public.

Perhaps she has been in communication with the Angel of the Drawn Sword.

I think that’s going to be my new favorite euphemism.

[Kalikala]

I still can’t get her to stop grabbing my butt in public.

Perhaps she has been in communication with the Angel of the Drawn Sword.

I think that’s going to be my new favorite euphemism.

[Corsair]

Perhaps she has been in communication with the Angel of the Drawn Sword.

I didn't think that pickup line worked after the 19th century.

[Reuben]

Perhaps she has been in communication with the Angel of the Drawn Sword.

I didn't think that pickup line worked after the 19th century.

"Hey baby, heaven must be missing an angel, because one with a drawn sword told me to proposition you."

I'll try it on my NOMish wife and let you know.