Mormon math

[20/20hind]

2+2=5

It's to sacred to talk about how I know that but it was an experience that I can't deny

My worldly math teacher gave me an F, but gods ways are not mans. I know, he helped me find my keys many a times.

[Corsair]

I thought you were going to talk about the anomalies in LDS membership numbers, since I'm pretty sure that more than a few "2+2=5" incidents are already showing when counting membership.

[Korihor]

2+2=5

For My ways are not your ways, and with god, anything is possible.

[Red Ryder]

I thought he was going to point out:

1 man + 1 woman = eternal marriage
1 man + n(women) = eternal marriage
1 man + 1 man = sinful marriage

1 man + 1 women + garments = God ordained Marital Intimacy (GOMI)
1 man + 1 women - garments = 0 temple recommend

[20/20hind]

I thought he was going to point out:

1 man + 1 woman = eternal marriage
1 man + n(women) = eternal marriage
1 man + 1 man = sinful marriage

1 man + 1 women + garments = God ordained Marital Intimacy (GOMI)
1 man + 1 women - garments = 0 temple recommend

Polynomial is the term your looking for red Ryder. Man x2=sin Man X+woman5x=Ck

[LaMachina]

John-Has-Four-Apples-And-Gives-One-Away-Calculate-The-Mass-Of-The-Sun-Funny-Math-Meme-Image.jpg (68.83 KiB) Viewed 11488 times

Hmmm, I think this math needs to be time and place specific or it's not fair to mormons. In Sunday school you will absolutely get what you're talking about here. But anyone who has had a missionary companion, or spoken to an institute instructor after class, or just gotten together with some fellow mormons over root beer floats knows mormons can come up with the most fascinating, complicated, ridiculous but maybe, just maybe, on some infinitesimal probability, brilliant explanations for things.

Or maybe I'm the only one who's been debriefed on the orbits of Kolob and how it will bring about the celestialization of earth or how neutrinos and quarks and quantum physics explains God's omniscience despite a physical body? 2+2=5 does not do their math justice.

[wtfluff]

His gospel shall be as the stone cut out of the mountain without hands which would roll forth and fill the whole earth

=

Less than 1% of humans actually get the opportunity to receive "the True™ gospel" during their "mortal probation".


Such a "perfect" plan...

[20/20hind]

His gospel shall be as the stone cut out of the mountain without hands which would roll forth and fill the whole earth

=

Less than 1% of humans actually get the opportunity to receive "the True™ gospel" during their "mortal probation".


Such a "perfect" plan...

Thealogicly this is really bad planning on gods part.

Say you lived a great and honorable life. Then you die without every hearing of the restored church. Your salvation is depending on teenagers who make a temple trip to get dunked.

So it turned out that Your salvation is reduced to magic words that have to be said perfectly.

Pretty crappy way to save souls in my opinion.

[20/20hind]

His gospel shall be as the stone cut out of the mountain without hands which would roll forth and fill the whole earth

=

Less than 1% of humans actually get the opportunity to receive "the True™ gospel" during their "mortal probation".


Such a "perfect" plan...

Thealogicly this is really bad planning on gods part.

Say you lived a great and honorable life. Then you die without every hearing of the restored church. Your salvation is depending on teenagers who make a temple trip to get dunked.

John Larsen did a podcast on this very topic. It was really good

So it turned out that Your salvation is reduced to magic words that have to be said perfectly.

Pretty crappy way to save souls in my opinion.

[RubinHighlander]

Less than 1% of humans actually get the opportunity to receive "the True™ gospel" during their "mortal probation".

Such a "perfect" plan...

Actually, right now, in the 59th minute of the 11th hour of the final dispensation of time before the great and dreadful day of the coming of the Lord...this chosen generation of 15.5millionish, those that hold all the revealed truths of God as revealed through Joe Smith and the profits that followed...sorry, Prophets, the actual percentage of those special chosen people is only:

15,634,199/7,000,000,000 = 0.0022

Less than a quarter of one percent. (queue the sad trombone - wha, wha, whaaaa)

I guess there will be many much more converts in the millennium and in the spirit world?
I'm trying to think of a good analogy here. Not getting your driver's license, your first date and your first experience with sex until you are 80?

[wtfluff]

Less than 1% of humans actually get the opportunity to receive "the True™ gospel" during their "mortal probation".

Such a "perfect" plan...

Actually, right now, in the 59th minute of the 11th hour of the final dispensation of time before the great and dreadful day of the coming of the Lord...this chosen generation of 15.5millionish, those that hold all the revealed truths of God as revealed through Joe Smith and the profits that followed...sorry, Prophets, the actual percentage of those special chosen people is only:

15,634,199/7,000,000,000 = 0.0022

Less than a quarter of one percent. (queue the sad trombone - wha, wha, whaaaa)

I guess there will be many much more converts in the millennium and in the spirit world?
I'm trying to think of a good analogy here. Not getting your driver's license, your first date and your first experience with sex until you are 80?

0.022 is less than 1%, no?

[Red Ryder]

Thealogicly this is really bad planning on gods part.

Say you lived a great and honorable life. Then you die without every hearing of the restored church. Your salvation is depending on teenagers who make a temple trip to get dunked.

Teenagers who lie about masturbation! The ordinance completed might not even be valid!

[RubinHighlander]

0.022 is less than 1%, no?

Sorry Fluff! Yes indeed. I wanted to embellish your point, not discount it. Well, I guess I discounted the percentage a bit.

[wtfluff]

0.022 is less than 1%, no?

Sorry Fluff! Yes indeed. I wanted to embellish your point, not discount it. Well, I guess I discounted the percentage a bit.

Embellishment Achieved!

Either way, it seems it would be easier for Elohim's kids if he just completely gave up on the rolling stone, and just redeemed then all during the millennium. (At least those kids who want to be doomed to an eternity of baker's hats and veils...)